Have They No Shame?
The Great American Public could certainly use some help from Stacy and Clinton of "What NOT to Wear."
John and Jane Q. Public are not pretty people. And what’s more, they do nothing, nil, nada, to upgrade their appearances.
I came to this conclusion after spending a day with them and hundreds of their extended families of Americans over the weekend in Bryson City, NC. The event was Spend the Day with Thomas the Tank Engine, drawing hoards of families related to Q. Public from far and wide to this beautiful village in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Needless to say the residents welcome these folks with open arms…economic explosion. It’s been years since I’ve attended a tourist attraction, and I must admit, it was a feast for the eyes.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so “they” say. Not everyone is lucky enough to get the “pretty” and “handsome” genes. Let me clarify. I’m not talking about facial features here. The issue of the day is this: what happened to a basic idea of personal pride? Don’t people realize that a small amount of grooming and figure-enhancing clothing selection can make even the most unattractive person look somewhat appealing?
I’m just as fluffy as the next 60-something woman, and I’m not proud of it. However, I DO make an effort to dress appropriately, in a manner that might at least camouflage some of the rolls and bulges. I moved up on to the double-digit sizes years ago. And I buy clothes that fit the package. So I don’t want to make an issue of obesity. We all know it plagues our population. For the life of me, I just don’t know how folks can leave their houses dressed so scantily.
I ALSO wear proper “foundation” garments. Ms. Q.P. doesn’t own a brassiere. And she’s proud of it!
It’s summer, true. Which calls for cool and comfy clothing. Now there’s “casual,” and then there’s “What were you thinking?” Case in point – a fellow grandmother wearing a bright blue T-shirt emblazoned with the phrase “What the Duck?” Are you kidding, Granny? Surely the Tees and Togs Shop had a better choice than this.
There comes a time in every woman’s life when short shorts just don’t work anymore. Whether on a female with thunder thighs or bird legs, women over 30 should live by Meg’s Golden Rule of Fashion: Dress nicely for others and spare the area of exposed flesh. That includes your puffy midriff and bellybutton pierced with genuine, sparkling CZ’s. In comparison to most of the other women, I looked like I was dressed for a cocktail party. Plain white, cotton knee-length skirt, floral tee, straw hat, sensible sandals. No great shakes in the fashion world, but certainly age-and-shape-appropriate.
Throngs of young and middle-age mothers go for the skimpy look of camisoles – sans cover-ups. Mantels of huge bosoms jiggling without any support at all – egad! And many enhanced with tattoos in the cleavage. Tats are definitely IN for the Q. Public Family. In the weirdest places, like the busty women, this trend has just gotten out of hand. I remember the days when a tattoo on the arm of a man was a dead ringer for a dead beat. Scary, too. Alas, those days are long gone. Studying the vast array of body art, I soon concluded that barbed wire is the motif of choice. It’s really hard to avoid staring at such displays. Have they no shame?
Of course, men, too, could use some advice from the fashion police. Why in the world would a grown man go out in public in a tank top? Exposing hairy armpits and beer bellies? Gag me with a spoon!
If not tank tops, there’s always the tee with an absurd motto like “Born to Belch,” “It Happens,” “Farts Up?” This insipid display of “What Not to Wear,” had me humming The Village People’s Macho, Macho Man in my mind. What kind of message are they sending to their little darlings? Surely Wal-Mart and Target sell collared polo shirts and Bermudas.
I accept the fact that baseball caps are standard weekend uniform headwear for both men and women. Got some I really like myself. But where I come from, men are asked to remove them when sitting at the table for a meal. So much for good manners.
I could go on and on – especially when it comes to shoes and socks, or lack there of. But I think I’ve painted the picture pretty well. And, as with most things in this life, it could always be worse. What if the event had taken place at a water park or the beach? Think about it.