Christmas Ate Thanksgiving and I’m Gonna Bellyache About It!

I’m upset again.  I hate to get like this but forces beyond my control appear to be preparing to ruin Christmas.  Everybody remember Christmas?  It’s the Christian holiday celebrating the birth of our Savior.  It is celebrated on December 25th every year.  Just checking ‘cause apparently lots of folks seem to think it’s, you know, like tomorrow.

This is not a rant about the commercialization of Christmas.  That ship has sailed and sadly will be almost impossible to turn back around.  As a businessman I appreciate the capitalistic system that rewards retailers with truly binge-like shopping during the time leading up to Christmas; but how long is that time supposed to be?  The same Madison Avenue Santa on TV is already pushing both red Mercedes and red Chryslers.  My calendar says there are six more weeks before that guy is even supposed to be out of his snow cave.  And Macy’s the store that perfected Holiday Shopping by throwing a killer Thanksgiving parade ending with Santa on his sleigh announcing that the season is upon us has now thrown in the towel and will open their big box stores on Thanksgiving Day.  Really?  Not even one little Thursday with our families to thank our Maker for his bounty?  We gotta go shop on that day too?  I fear this change is the long threatening confluence of the NFL and NOW.  Men get their football by the bucket load on Thanksgiving Day so why shouldn’t women get their recreation, too.  Don’t get me started.

Perhaps it’s some jingoistic religious one-upmanship as the Christians try to compete with Ramadan for the longest religious period of piety.  But that can’t be it.  Lent (please tell me you remember Lent) stretches 40 days to Ramadan’s 30 so we, us Christians, have that point covered.  Of course the Muslims actually fast during Ramadan and most Christians barely give up chocolate or changing underwear thinking it is somehow worthy of praise.  Oops, getting off the subject again…..

Every man and woman has their personal memories that set a calendar for Christmas.  In my family, we waited until December 18th, the birthday of my older brother, to go to the country and cut a scraggly pine from our grandparent’s farm.  The date was exactly a week before the Big Day and we were not allowed to even shop for gifts until the tree was both erect and decorated.  It coincided closely with Christmas break at school and the withholding of Christmas activity made the next seven days pure heaven.  Today, of course, that seems much too last minute.  But why?  Christmas was every bit as fantastic in the condensed timeframe as it is today when holly comes out on Veteran’s Day

Thanksgiving has been swallowed whole by Christmas and anyone who likes order in the Universe should be on edge.  We need to keep our Holiday’s nice and independent so as to allow the greeting card stockers and mistletoe gatherers to know when their ‘go’ buttons have been pushed.  Even the (personally) loathed but ritual Black Friday has been promoted, ingested and digested long before the Thanksgiving turkey is basted.  Instead of having deep price cuts and sleep deprived shoppers celebrating consumerism on the Friday after Thanksgiving, suddenly the media is hyping “Black Friday Prices are here today!”  If you think Daylight Savings Time messes with the chickens, try telling them the lowest prices of the year just may be anytime after Halloween, depending on the retailer.

Maybe I should shut up and accept that it could be worse.  I’ve got a friend in Jersey who once declared with all seriousness that his Holidays started on Halloween at noon and lasted until the Monday following the Super Bowl.  Some years that can be 100 days.  But John is both a drinker and a gambler making me think that perhaps his holidays were more skewed towards football and parties than food and religion.

So I have a compromise I would like to offer the Lords of Retail.  How ‘bout I stop complaining about y’all jumping the gun and you start offering more goods made in America?  And at decent prices.  And also don’t bitch when most of us spend the majority of our shopping budget at smaller entrepreneurial enterprises as opposed to the big box options. 

That’s it; I’m done thinking about Christmas ‘til next month when I plan on spoiling the surprise and tell everyone what Santa is bringing.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY.