Mad People Are At least Awake

Being a writer is a pretty tough gig. You develop a following as you go along, and the feedback you receive is more a measure of success than the money you receive to do it. However, you need to have skin similar to that of an elephant.

I wrote an entirely humorous piece recently about Polygamy. I expected letters about it, but was shocked that the worst of them came from women. After all, I had made fun of and insulted a system which is degrading to women and the men who perpetrate it.

I was called prejudiced and misogynistic, I’m not sure this word has anything to do with me, but apparently the woman who penned it was. I was called sexist and racist, and it was explained to me that my wife is a poor mistreated woman. I’m glad she believes she’s got it good, and she’s glad she is my only wife.

In other stories my writing, spelling, grammar and style were doubted. One commenter said that if the world were going to be hit by a meteor, she would rather die ignorant of that fact, than to find out about it from reading something I wrote.

Whatever happened to good old fashion Don Rickles type insults? I mean, if you’re going to insult a person, you might as well do it right. No one has said my feet stink or that I don’t love the baby Jesus or worse, the baby Jesus don’t love me. Here is the biggie; no one had talked about my dog or my mother. Seems my detractors have little imagination.

I have been recently asked to do a little political humor, and I have. I’m working my way up to it, but I’ve got distressing news for you: politics ain’t too funny. I am being called a liberal and a conservative so-and-so, for every piece I write. I don’t mind being a so-and-so, but I’m having an identity crisis. I don’t understand how this happens, or how to change it. I guess people expect you to come out kicking and screaming against one person or party and hate you if you don’t. I only call 'em as I see 'em.

Last month a reader said they hoped no one was paying me to write anything. I felt so ashamed that when the dozen or so checks arrived on the first of the month, I almost tore them up, almost sent them back, not. What I did was, cry all the way to the bank.

As long as there are pen, paper and computers, there will be idiots like me who give their opinions. Don’t take it too personally if I don’t respond to every letter. My opinion of your opinion of my opinion just seems irrelevant, sorry.

Here is the part I love. The typical knee jerk reaction when you say something that makes small-minded people mad: If you don’t like America, leave it. I served my country and have the added qualification of visiting 37 others. I know some are bad, and some are good, but ours, in my opinion, is the best. This knowledge does not relieve me of the responsibility of using my free speech to rectify the ills that continue to multiply in our current political arena.

Our forefathers stood up, spoke up and acted up to give us the right to do exactly that. How about expanding your ideas of freedom to include things that aren’t spoon fed to the ignorant? How about thinking for yourself and about things that are not all about yourself?

Each election cycle the process becomes more ridiculous or perhaps ludicrous is more apt. Yet each cycle becomes more crucial. I don’t choose the candidate, but I do continue to vote for the lesser of two evils.

Politicians were supposed to be regular Americans, farmers, butchers and Indian Chiefs. Lord, don’t get me started on Indian Chiefs. Anyway, those who are allowed to be free were meant to represent us, then return to their farms when their tours were over. Then Cousin Billy Bob could go to Washington and take his turn. Being a politician was never supposed to be a profession.

The change we need is to take the decision of which candidates we get to vote for away from the parties. Let them pick the candidates, but we should give them the list to choose from. The parties should pick one of the people the American public has already cleared for availability.

The problem does not necessarily stem from the presidents, but from those who pick the presidents. The powers that be have figured out a way to force us to vote for those whom they choose. I agree the candidates are different, but they are already chosen for us before we exercise our right to vote.