Christmas Musings

• Greenhouse doors do not lock from the outside. I'm pretty sure that little girl was in on the plot to melt Frosty...

• They cut the scene where she got a mop bucket and yelled "Cleanup on aisle 3!"  That seals it...she was totally in on it.

• What if they had listened to the little kid who wanted to name the snowman "Oatmeal"?

• If Bumbles bounce, then they also float. I think Yukon Cornelius was just making stuff up as he went...

• How many of those toys do you think ended up back on that island year after year? Let's face it, some of them were pretty bad...

• The elves in Santa's sleigh offered umbrellas to all the toys on the way down...all of them, except the bird that couldn't fly. Oops. Somebody woke up with a dead bird on the roof Christmas morning...

• On the bright side,  at least it didn't just wind up back on that island.  

• Were colored aluminum trees some kind of 60's fad that I missed? I've never actually seen one, or even heard of anyone having one.

• This is the year I'm going to read the Christmas Story from Luke just like Linus...without my stupid blankie

• I will not be giving benign looking yet extremely violent African river creatures as gifts this year. Sorry.

• Let's say you build a snowman, and pretend that it's a circus clown. Go ahead, have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman. I will be rallying the other kiddies to knock him down.

• "Happy Holidays" doesn't bother me in the least. But wish me "Happy Honda Days" and I'm sending Charlie Brown over to lecture you on commercialism...

From my family to yours, Merry Christmas.

-Jeff